Valentine’s Day Chocolate and The L Word

Valentine’s Day, Chocolate and The L Word is the title of this episode of Coffee Break With KA & Dana: Meaningful Conversations From A Lesbian Perspective

As lesbians, you’d think we know what women want. But the truth is, women are so complicated sometimes that even another woman can’t quite figure it out. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, the pressure is on to find a way to show your girl that you care. In this episode, KA and Dana discuss Valentine’s Day:

  • Things to do
  • Perfect gifts
  • The L Word
  • Chocolate

KA is an author of lesbian romance with degrees in counseling, psychology, and social work. She writes stories about lesbians, burdened by past trauma, who find healing in the love of a soul mate.

Dana is an avid reader, a recovering alcoholic, a fisher-woman, and a graduate of the school of hard knocks.

As co-hosts, they’re quite the duo. Connect with them online at

Music in this episode (Lucky Way) is licensed for use in various multimedia applications by Melody Loops.

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please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect

[Music] welcome to coffee break with KA and Dana were brought to you by the lesbian talk show I’m KA a lesbian romance author and in my past life counselor and a social worker and I’m Dana an avid reader coffee connoisseur recovering alcoholic and a graduate of the school of hard knocks grab a cup of coffee pull up a chair and join us for a meaningful conversation from a lesbian perspective as lesbians you’d think we’d know what women want but the truth is women are so complicated sometimes that even another woman can’t figure it out with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching pressure is on to find a way to show your girl that you care a lot if your traditional the old standby of a romantic restaurant followed by lots of hand-holding and eye gazing is always a classic but depending on where you live and how out you are you may or may not want to go out with your lover to a restaurant full of straight couples in this episode KA and Deena discuss valentine’s day things to do perfect gifts the l-word and chocolate won’t you join us for a meaningful conversation so Valentine’s Day it can be a complicated holiday flesh be ins for some it’s a chance to celebrate being together for others a day of grief and l-word reruns oh hey did you hear the air will coming back I did and we’re very excited about that that was one of the few shows that we actually got behind when it was out there the first time oh us too and we we bought all of the seasons although you know the last two as with any series it kind of was less than it used to be but but we have them all we’ve watched them multiple times although we haven’t for years we are so excited yeah it’s gonna be interesting to see where they take it you know supposedly the three main characters are gonna be Bette Alice and Shane so it’s it’s gonna be interesting where they take those three yeah it is and it’s gonna it’s gonna break my heart if that you know and Tina broke up yeah but Tina was a little bit of a skank Oh but they needed to be together forever and ever and ever Wow I mean it’d be nice it would be nice but you know entire vision they never let the lesbians be happy any show that’s got a lesbian in it there’s always some drama that breaks them up yeah rainbows and unicorns are totally absent in our series although once in a while you see a movie or something that has a nice ending but not very I don’t want any a I don’t want any angst in my lesbian drama III don’t well I want just enough to kind of make it interesting but I really don’t want any angst I want them to curl up and be happy lesbians that doesn’t make for a good TV show though with you know a dog and a cat and a picket fence in the backyard and and straight neighbors on one side and gay neighbors on the other and everybody gets along and they have a cookout in the summer Laurie hey that sounds like one of my jobs let me jot that down anyway I was I was jazzed and supposedly we’re gonna they’ve liked contractors showtimes like contractor trade episodes and supposedly we’re gonna see it in late 2019 I would be cool so we’re talking about Valentine’s Day today but oh like that was that was my Valentine’s Day is a heart you know you either love it or you hate it and there doesn’t seem to be any in-between but I’m not a real fan just because it’s become so commercialized yeah I don’t like that either but I mean along with what you said I mean that people tend to either fall into the ooh I love holidays or oh I can do without them they’re you know not too many have them have a middle ground but hallmark and American Greetings and all the card companies they seem to they they seem to think that there are a whole lot gonna buy right into it and they do I mean there is a lot of people that buy into it and buy those cards that cost $7 oh hey I can tell you are on the same page we are we stopped buying cards all several years ago I mean we just agreed and now before an anniversary or something the day or two before we’ll say one of us will say now did you buy a card well no we weren’t gonna do that right just checking to make sure cuz I don’t want to not have one if you do right but but we stopped I mean they crank that price up there is no way that piece of papers worth 7 bucks to me no if we buy cards we go to the dollar store two for a buck we can do that yeah we never drop to the dollar store for us although most of it are the other people in our world that get cards get dollar store cards but Kay and I just years ago just decided if we want to say something we’re gonna say it right so well and I did I wrote her soulmates one year that that oughta count is like cards for the rest of your life yeah I don’t know about that but maybe that that’s her choice so okay so we I think about Valentine’s Day and holidays I kind of grew up liking holidays and I still like them but you know we may still have some folks that need to come up with something special I don’t know do you do you follow that category still need to come up with something or do you not do the Valentine’s Day thing well many years ago we decided we weren’t gonna worry about Valentine’s Day but I’m married to somebody who loves Valentine’s Day so she always gets me something or at least a card and so I always at least have a card handy have a card handy you know that to me just defeats the whole purpose of it I have a card and II do we ever fall at opposite ends of the spectrum on this although I haven’t come up with anything yet so how about we toss out a few ideas sounds good all right you toss first how about a picnic set it up in front of the fireplace or feeder by candlelight that’s nice hmm I wonder how Kay would do being fed by candlelight hmm well if we put it all oh yeah I’m not going there okay that’s kind of romantic though I kind of like that one although the fireplace I’m hoping for spring by the 14th of February you know we’re gonna have a little bit of warmth coming in so we had it we’re sending it your way all righty all righty okay I’ll do one huh how about how about just something simple doesn’t cost anything so if you one of those folks short on dimes do something she loves to do I don’t know whatever that is do it if she likes to visit a museum or or mess in the yard or shovel snow or well you know whatever she likes to do do it with her mine likes to do crosswords I wouldn’t be too good at that but spending time with her while she does crosswords reading the book while she does a crossword is hang out and be together sounds good you can also lure with chocolates yeah you can war with with chocolates that certainly has been one of the things that he’s been a popular gift over the years you can’t you know you can’t go wrong with chocolate okay there’s just no way to go wrong with it no in fact in fact it’s good for you I mean it is full of little antioxidants totally totally good for you one of the most functional foods out there a great brain safe in it yeah and dark chocolates better than milk chocolate but milk chocolate tastes so much better well and dark is the best and the darker the better if you’re talking in terms of your health but milk chocolate is good too and white chocolate is basically worthless in terms of your health but in terms of Valentine’s Day if white chocolate is what she likes get her white chocolate absolutely you know some other things you could do you could plan a weekend getaway so maybe maybe you’re busy on Valentine’s Day but you plan something in the future that would be that that’s always good maybe even a vacation you know if you it if you had thought ahead plan a vacation we can get away over the over the holiday or the weekend after because most people have to work Valentine’s Day yeah that that’s not one of the holidays that we you know we tend to take off but but even even if you’re just hanging around at home the planning of a vacation can be a fun activity for a couple and it doesn’t cost you anything it’s true plan something to do next summer and the you know spend some time oh here’s how about how about this put on some music and dance with her well we couples that have been together a long time a lot of us has stopped going out very much we used to dance together but when out do it so often anymore put on some music in your living room you know I didn’t we used to go out dancing all the time but we haven’t done that lately so that would be even a good one for us see that cost you anything and and you can really impress her as long as you don’t let her hear this episode beforehand I mean she’ll think it’s your idea and she’ll take mayhem meaning you are really romantic good to be you know on this on this topic I found kind of a kind of a cool quote it’s a Mel Gibson quote after about 20 years of marriage I finally started to scratch the surface of what women want and I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate so see we are we are all over it here we are I mean like spend time talk get her a little bit of chocolates for Kay it would be dark chocolate covered nuts and Wendy Wendy’s favorite is any chocolate any chocolate yes she’s not really a dark dark chocolate but she will eat you know some of the more mild dark chocolate but you know and and the conversation part is true too you know I find you know we have a nine year old living with and we don’t get a whole lot of just her a nighttime so you know maybe even you know go for a drive route well for those of us that are in the middle of the snow getting over there you know go for Drive yeah I mean there are so many things that that you can do that don’t cost anything at all and and I know I know all okay would like her dark chocolate covered nuts she after all these years would prefer to have quality time do something together and I think I really think that’s true of most everyone especially women yes yes I would agree with that you know just some quality time where it’s just the two of you in and have a conversation don’t watch a baseball game don’t watch TV just talk yeah yeah unless you know there there’s that flipside that like that goes back to do something she likes to do so Kay likes suspense and mystery and cop shows and those kind of things and and she really likes to have me sit down and watch something one of her shows with her and I don’t always do that but so if if your girl likes the show that’s not really your kind of show sit down and watch it with her anyway you know another one – it’s not horribly expensive buy her a book if there’s a book she’s been looking at see this is where I come in if there’s been a book I’ve been looking at you know I’d rather have a book than chocolate honestly well don’t you think that comes with just knowing someone yeah I mean she knows that and my guess is if she buys you a gift she gets you a book or something like that that you like our fishing something-or-another true a lure or whatever it is that you’re into yeah yeah and that’s the way okay I mean she knows I love technology so she’s gonna get me something she’ll try to get me a little piece of technology or you know something like that but okay so we’re gonna take a little break and then we’re gonna come back and give our listeners a couple more ideas wrap up the show we got a couple good ones how about popping popcorn put in a lesbian movie we were talking about the l word oh there’s my Valentines Day plans and episode 1 through 3 of the l word sounds good another thing you could do it cooker dinner yeah especially if you’re not the one who normally cooks yeah yeah if Kay would say Oh where’s my Valentine’s Day gift this is the usual yeah yeah you know we kind of share the cooking so but you know you could make a romantic meal out of it yeah you know make it nice make it set the table nice maybe use candles candles I mean you know anything to step it up a notch from the usual pull out the good China even if you’re even if you cook all the time pull out the good China and light a candle step that meal right over the top absolutely okay so anything you do that’s personal that’s straight from the heart you know that’s really the perfect thing to do it’s the personal piece that makes the difference don’t you think I do you know I think when you just step it up a little bit to show them just baby how much you appreciate them you know if you don’t do that on a daily basis then make it special on these holidays okay so that’s probably a good note to end on hey happy Valentine’s Day everyone have a happy and safe Valentine you’ve been listening to coffee break with KA and Dana meaningful conversations from a lesbian perspective brought to you by the lesbian talk show be sure to like us on facebook follow us on twitter until next week work hard be kind to one another and watch amazing things happen in your corner of the world [Music]