How to Be There for Someone

Certain situations carry a tremendous power because they are teachable moments. They allow us to show up and be there when it matters. They allow us to understand how small details mean so much. To send that card. To buy that person a coffee. To leave a favorite chocolate bar on their desk. To bake a casserole. And perhaps most notable, to show up not having all the answers but having all the love that can comfort those moments of unknowing.

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Transcript for Today’s Show

Please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect.

hey thanks for joining me today for this episode of curves welcome a podcast about facing and embracing the curves of life if this is your first time tuning in this is Susie Carr today’s episode is inspired by my character Harper from uprooting it is about being there for a friend or loved one when it really matters at the beginning of uprooting when Harper got a call that her sister was dealing with a health scare she showed up to be by her side and helped see her through the scary wait time of hearing results that could change their lives forever during that time she showed her sister how much her presence meant in her life Harper having suffered through a tumultuous childhood where the people should be lied on to be there for her words understood the power of showing up by showing up she unknowingly shifted not only her sister’s life for the better but also her own setting them both up to make a difference in the lives of each other and others in really amazing ways Harper realized through with all that being there for someone doesn’t require grand-scale actions it’s often the smallest of details that make the biggest of differences I recently experienced this epiphany for myself when my spouse landed in the hospital with a severe sepsis infection after surgery running back and forth to the hospital for eight days never knowing what state I’d find my loved one in took an emotional and physical toll I didn’t have the time to consider things like making lunch or dinner for myself ensuring I was hydrating or even my own terrors at what could have been asked my spouse lay in a hospital room fighting for some form of antibiotic to work life suddenly came into true focus life’s big important moments stopped being about promoting the release of uprooting or producing my next podcast episode or being present creatively at my day job as the blood infection continued to resist antibiotics and scary what-ifs began to pile up in my mind it was the love and support of family and friends that helped keep me focused on keeping my spouse focused I never understood the strength it requires to be a caretaker until I became one family and friends brought me a meal sent me flowers and fruits brought coffee and showed up with short visits to show they cared they sent messages they asked about my spouse they asked about whether I was taking care of myself so I could keep up strength enough for us both what happens in a situation like this is that it makes a person much more aware and more empathetic when it happens to someone else the gift is awareness I’ve had friends and family suffer medical issues in the past and never understood the value of a quick message a card in the mail or a hot cup of coffee on the desk let me tell you those details matter they are life-changing when you’re in that situation they give you that little extra lift you need to power through and regain some strength they remind you that you matter and are loved honestly when people act with such kindness and gentleness it tears me up I get very emotional and cry but make no mistake those tears are not sad tears they are grateful tears they are born out of the notion that somewhere in this great big convoluted world that we live in where everyone is so embedded in their own struggles that there was thoughtful humanity at play I’m happy to report my spouse is winning the battle over the resistant bacterial infection having finally found a med that worked it’ll be a long road of recovery to regain the strength the infection talk but it’s on its way and for that we are grateful we will also never forget the power of the lessons we received from going through this we had a really good talk one morning we spoke about the power of empathy and how certain situations carry a tremendous power because they are teachable moments they allow us to show up and be there when it matters they allow us to understand how small details mean so much as a result of this health scare we’ve both learned how important it is to focus on being present with those people in life who we value to send that card to buy that person a coffee to leave a favorite chocolate bar on their desk to bake a casserole and perhaps most notable to show up not having all the answers but having all the love that can comfort those moments of unknowing thank you for being an awesome listen and supporting tools the channel that brings you all the podcasts you want to hear journalists need to talk find more podcasts on the lesbian talk-show calm empathy is powerful when we have it we can finally answer the question that always rattles the heart of someone suffering that why question why is this happening why me why them why well perhaps for no other reason than because things happen life happens good and bad things happen all the time but if you’re like me and you weren’t satisfied with that as an answer perhaps you might find yourself caressing the same answer I got from this latest struggle my spouse and I suffered perhaps it just happened because yes things happen but because they happen we are now richer in our capacity to show up for someone else down the line and also to understand that the greatest impacts often reside in the smallest of details we know how to be there for someone now and how important that is for the ones struggling it can be the difference between viewing life’s situation as a teachable moment or a curse which would you choose I hope it’s never as a curse I hope you see things as teachable moments the teachable moment for me was realizing that little actions matter they carry great weight and bring about beautiful things like empathy and compassion empathy and compassion are the building blocks of humanity just like Harper showing up to her sister’s side when she struggled with a health scare and again throughout the book when she battled the complexities of sobriety within a life riddled with temptations and challenges we can learn how to be better versions of ourselves less judgmental and more compassionate the next time someone in your life is suffering from something regardless if you view it as small or grand show up be there have a deck of greeting cards ready to be addressed and stamped put aside a few extra dollars to surprise someone with a simple comforting gift like a blueberry muffin or a package of granola bars bring them a plant that reminds them of your continual support go out of your way just a little to show them how much they matter that can make all the difference to someone fighting for comfort health or success over something that controls them my last suggestion is don’t be afraid to tell them you don’t have the right words and answers to comfort them those aren’t necessary to bring comfort your presence in some capacity is though you don’t have to be a magician with witty or inspiring words you don’t have to have lots of extra money to buy a fancy gift you just need to show up and let that person know that they are important and that you are rooting for them don’t be too busy to show up it takes a moment to add a small detail to someone’s grand view on life and all its potential I’ve learned a lot about love through the course of this challenge it’s taught me that there are some really great people in this world who care when you come down to the real value of life it’s not about money cars houses or any other material possession it’s about people it’s about being present with people it’s about putting down the dm2 cell phone and having a real conversation across a dinner table it’s about being flexible impatient when life tosses you stuff you never asked for it’s about being grateful for the small gifts brought to us by these big lessons but most importantly it’s about sending small reminders to others through our actions that on the other end of their struggles as a loving friendship that is more meaningful than anything else going on in the world at that moment hey friends thanks for spending time with me today I hope you enjoyed today’s topic if there is something you’d enjoy exploring in a future podcast please reach out to me via my website at curves welcome calm and I’ll work it in while you’re there grab a free story – it’s my way of thanking you for your support of my podcast and romance novels I also want to take a moment to thank all who have become patrons on my patreon page your support means a great deal to me for more information on joining me on this journey in gaining access to special rewards visit the link in the show notes also be sure to follow TLT podcasts to keep up on the latest episodes so thanks for tuning in until next time go out there and continue to learn grow and embrace life’s curves