6 Pieces Of Relationship Advice And How It Relates To Lesbians on Les Talk About It
Episode: 12 of 12 of the Relationship Season
Join Tamara and Sheena as they talk about popular relationship advice and how it relates to lesbian relationships in this episode of Les Talk About It.
Listen to this episode here
In this episode:
- Do or say something daily to show your appreciation
- Realise that every relationship is worth something
- Never take your partner for granted
- Remember to take breaks
- It’s not what you fight about it’s how you fight
- Stop trying to be each other’s everything
This is the article we are referencing https://greatist.com/play/best-relationship-advice#1
Les Talk About It Series: Relationships
Relationships are important for humans. We need them to survive, never mind thrive. In this series we delve into relationships and break down some statistics and realities because, let’s face it, most us just muddle through and don’t necessarily have the skillset to rally make a relationship work.
please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect
welcome to lea talk about it I’m Sheena and I’m Tamara and today we’re talking about something that you researched yeah we’re looking at popular relationship advice and how does it stack up when we’re talking about queer who lesbian or whatever relationships same-sex relationships or yeah okay okay whatever you wanna call it well technically the podcast is Liz talk about it so let’s talk about lesbians okay please talk about it okay I found a list of relationship advice given by relationship therapists and psychologists and the source is greatest calm okay so you can head over there to go read more about it if you want to the first bit of relationship advice via a professor Terry or Burke at the University of Auckland says do or say something they need to show your appreciation this circles back to the right at the beginning of the relationship season when we spoke about the research in relation to people arguing in that podcast I think it was we spoke about the frequency of small acts more than the big acts that make a relationship work yes and I think this is a piece of advice that’s totally valid fully has been relationships specifically or as well rather because I think especially if you’re – woman I think you can start to take each other for granted I think it’s easy to slip into the friendzone maybe yeah and so to kind of keep things fresh you want to have more frequent intimate interaction in directions and interactions that show that you love and don’t just like you know stuff it goes beyond just being a friend okay yeah okay so the next piece of advice is from April buyer a matchmaker and she says realize every relationship has value regardless of how long it lasts okay I think that’s actually a really good sound piece of advice and I think if anything there’s Ben’s tend to do this well we tend to keep our exes as friends and we tend to build a little network of lesbians that way sure but I think you know what’s in important is to look at actually what value that relationship port not just looking at as a fling or another friend but maybe looking at as a learning experience seeing what that relationship gave you and how it can help you maybe grow okay so the next piece of advice is by Irena first Stein and she’s a couples therapist never take your partner for granted okay expand on that okay so I think it’s one of those things that sounds super obvious but when people own a relationship they tend to forget that they need to work on a relationship they just expect the other person to be there they expect the other person to do whatever the other person needs to do and they forget that there’s work involved in being in the relationship and that this other person is an individual that is deserving of attention and the right kind of attention I agree with this and I think it applies to Lisbon relationships as well I think it’s easy in a same-sex relationship to slip into the the friend void that you’re always gonna be there for me Boyd that space mm-hmm I think it’s also when you’re in a same-sex relationship it’s easy to get into the space of I’m a woman she’s a woman we both have the same ones needs likes whatever it is and to stop actually making an effort I think that’s right yeah so we have to be super vigilant to understand that we’re not the same person to appreciate the differences and to work towards also better clearer clearer communication there are high levels of emotion when you are dealing with a relationship with two woman there is and I think it’s easy to you know go okay she’s a woman she understands what it is to like have this kind of emotion and it’s just actually she’s also an individual yes and I wonder actually with gay guy relationships if they have a similar problem but kind of a reverse problem where they don’t talk about their feelings enough where they don’t communicate how you know what’s actually going on internally very possibly I don’t know as interesting enough gave friends to be able to if you’re a gay guy email us on podcast that the lesbian talk show comment tell us is this a problem you have in your relationship mm-hmm you’re listening to lesbian talk-show the lesbians or choke on your hub of podcast information okay and then the next one is remember to take breaks and that’s by Amy bag learn the CEO of meet mindful date or non dating sites so this is about taking time for yourself but also taking time as a couple away from the stresses of life I think it’s really sad advice sometimes you have to remove yourself from this daily stresses and give some serious alone in a couple time mm-hmm and I think also the sometimes having a low in time for yourself as well because again you’re individuals in a relationship and I think sometimes you can lose yourself if you don’t take the time to just do something for yourself and this doesn’t have to be something big it could be as simple as taking a bath by yourself and for an hour while the other person does whatever they want to do for an hour it doesn’t have to be a big break we’re not talking Ross and Rachel from friends level of we’re all right and our next piece of advice comes from Sean Horan and the system professor at Texas State University his advice is it’s not what you fight about it’s how you fight hmm back to the horseman of the relationship book apocalypse from the Black Moon research so it’s about learning to fight with each other and learning I think also what’s worth fighting about what’s worth letting go and communicating again we’re good in this in this regard according to studies lesbians actually fight more productively than most couples mm-hmm so you know lesbians you have a nice leg up Lee mm-hmm use it indeed okay and then the last one is stop trying to be each other’s everything any good this comes from Matt meant quest couples therapist a min and I think we have a this when that Lisbon’s are terrible at terrible terrible terrible ads we try to be everything for each other and lose ourselves yes so remember again you are a couple not a one thing you don’t merge into one you human and you know how they say it takes event a village to raise a child yeah it takes a village to be a human being as well so you don’t rely on one person to be your support system I think this was and also you can’t live for the other person mm-hmm like you should be in this journey of life together but together as two whole people yes so it’s not giving up your locks for the other person you should have your own identity mm-hmm that’s all for the season of let’s talk about it I’m Sheena and I’m Tamara and this has been the relationship season so if you found any helpful advice during the season please let us know we’d love to hear about you and your relationships and if we missed out on anything then tell us email us on podcast at the Lisbon talk show com we’re also open now to look at what the next season of let’s talk about it should be about so give us your ideas all we need is a concept that we can use across multiple episodes right so like this one was the relationship season and we delved into all sorts of different research so tell us what do you want us to talk about and in the meantime go share all these podcasts with your friends help them have better relationships please gaurav us or an apple podcast give us a 5 star review it helps others to find the podcast to you and if you enjoy this content can become a patron you help us grow you help us down it and you get exclusive content let’s pod cross to other people do not get including episodes of let’s talk battles so you can find it at patreon.com forward slash the lesbian culture thank you for listening bye [Music]