Join Tamara and Sheena as they talk about 14 Ways To Find Someone To Date in this episode of Les Talk About It.
Les Talk About It Episode: 2 of 12 of the Dating Season
In this episode we talk about these 14 ways to find other women who love women and where to find possible people to date:
- Social clubs and sports teams at your learning institution
- Ask Darlene Vendegna about pickleball
- Find women run events, organisations and businesses
- Art school
- Local sports teams
- Big international women’s sports events
- LGBTQIA personals on Instagram
- Attend concerts that draw women or lesbians
- For US based Lesbians visit Cherry Grove or Province Town
- Join a book club
- Ask your friends and family
- Online dating
Les Talk About It Series: Dating
Dating is not just a fun exploration of yourself and your partner but it is an important step in your life. In this series we break down lesbian dating and talk about it.
About The Hosts
Sheena comes from a media background and in 2014 she started The Lesbian Review, a website dedicated to reviewing the best lesbian books and movies. In 2016 A podcast channel seemed like a natural progression and so she started The Lesbian Talk Show.
Sheena discovered lesbian fiction in her late teens and it helped her with her coming out process, something for which she will always be grateful.
Tamara is a marketing professional and has branched out into design and photography. Her natural love for research and learning meant that she was the perfect podcast partner when Sheena wanted to start Les Talk About It. (Well, that and the fact that Tamara is married to Sheena.)
Transcript for Today’s Show
Please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect.
welcome to les talk about it and tomorrow I’m Sheena and today we’re talking about way to find people to date tomorrow was chatting to me earlier before we actually started putting the podcast and she was talking about comfort zones and how it’s so important to get out of your comfort zone so tomorrow you want to talk to our listeners about that sure as women we are we have a lot of pressure put on top of us so we have a lot of work pressure family pressure friend pressure and a lot of the time we don’t actually take time to take care of our own personal lives to take care of us and because of that we can get into a rat so we start to feel lonely we start to feel like we can never meet the right person or that person isn’t out there but if we step back and actually take an objective look at our own lives we see that we spend most of our time at work always been most of our time at home not doing any activities we were likely to meet people and while you they all good odds that you can meet someone at work it’s not always going to happen so the first step in finding a good place today is to get out of your house absolutely I want to stipulate that some of the places that we’re talking about are online but online in order to get offline if that makes sense because you can find people online but then it’s so important that you’re actually doing activities that aren’t in front of your computer or your phone so today’s list is going to do some more modern techniques but we’ll also look at some good old-fashioned places to find someone today shall we get started absolutely so the first place on my part of the list is meter so meter calm for those of you that don’t know is a website that allows you to meet other people so this can work for different aspects of your life it can be for business events it can be for social events like gaming you can do these also dating events and it’s localized to where you are so it is a global site so you don’t need to worry that this is just something that happens in the States or in you know other bigger cities around the world but it is something that you can find even in Johannesburg South Africa which let me talk you don’t find a lot of things here and what’s even nicer is that can become even hyperlocal where you can set a radius around where you are to see if you can find events to your liking the last thing about meetup is that you’re likely to connect with people who have similar interests to you and connecting with people who have some of the interest to you means that you’re going to be able to expand your friend circle you’re dating circle that sort of thing very often meetup also has specifically women focused or lesbian focused groups and if there isn’t one it’s really easy to just start one so don’t be afraid to start something that you think is interesting because there’s a good chance that others will find it interesting to you yeah and so just like you know focus it around something that you love whether it’s books Dungeons & Dragons or whatever it is like you know oh hey you know set up a dating group why not it does help in this sort of circumstance to live in a liberal area cities we being a lesbian is not unheard of not sure but you know as always with all our podcasts you know do stuff that’s going to keep you safe don’t engage in anything where you could be in danger these are ideas to help people get out of the usual and routine and into the world where they are more likely to meet people and to meet that one absolutely two or three another thing if you’re at university or even if you’re taking a short course or whatever it is look for groups in that learning institution that would be of interest to you they are often social clubs sports things you can join that will give you connections to other people and while you may not necessarily find somebody to date you may find some friends who would know somebody today it’s it’s all about connections yeah I’m and even if you’re not at university a lot of suburbs towns whatever have local sports leagues or sports clubs so doing that and even if you don’t know the sport like they’ll usually have uh some sort of beginner type thing join in go join your local softball team or field hockey Oh with Darlene VIN Danielle online and ask her where the nearest pickleball League is apparently it’s great fun relatively easy to play and they are lesbians they what is pickleball you really need to listen to my pickleball podcast okay it’s got a fine name yeah Darlene talks at links about it it’s in it’s a new game that she is a huge fan of and it’s kind of cute okay so another thing that you can do to meet new people and potentially dates is to volunteer so find something that you’re interested in and go volunteer so at your local SPCA and if you’re into animals helping orphans I don’t know whatever it is whatever you’re into animal shelters there’s a reason that animal shelters and lesbians are pretty synonymous absolutely go volunteer at your local animal shelter because you’re probably gonna find a lesbian II don’t discount woman ran activities and community centers and places like that we tend to gravitate towards women ran things yeah I think that’s a good advice you know try to find something that is woman run because law of averages is that you will find someone who date’s women there and while you’re at these places that have a lot of women remember to drop hints you know if someone doesn’t know you’re a lesbian or that there’s some potential interest going on there it’s never going to happen so you know make sure that you know you’re putting yourself out there in some sort of way when you are at these events that is advice from a theme if you look like me everyone knows another thing that people say is is pretty prominent in the lesbian sphere is arts school so anything art related which actually makes a lot of sense we like to connect with our inner artist you know whether we’re drawing or painting or learning to take photos we are a creative Bunch so take a short course go enroll in art school see what’s up not only will you learn a fantastic new skill but you may make some friends or find somebody to date thank you for being an awesome listen and supporting tilts the channel that brings you all the podcasts you want to hear and listening to taught find more podcasts on the Lisbon talk show calm the next thing is going to take a hike nice you do find hiking events or hiking groups that a woman focused or even City walks go join one again it’s one of these types of things where you do get a large amount of lesbians joining it we do love to walk at least the sporty ones yes well yeah if you’re into supporting spices go join some sort of sporty activity well that’s actually a good way to open up for other kinds of sports don’t discount sports lesbians fall into two very distinct sectors the the sports lovers and they are many of us and then the I don’t quite understand sports folks who I happen to fall into raise his hand but but if you are a sporty person by Nature go find women’s sports teams to join go watch women’s sports even you know it’s bound to be something happening in your area and let me tell you this are gonna be at least one there’s been a and if there’s I think well we’re on the sports topic is if there is a big international event like a soccer world cup Rugby World Cup we’re brothers that is focused on women obviously try join in the viewing parties or whatever for those kinds of sports again you’re more likely to not only meet people who have similar interests to you so which opens you have to finding new friends but they’re also some nice dating options they I just discovered that South Africa has a international Woman’s crickets league like you know the pro tears but for women really a new we have rugby and hockey and no heads I just discovered this because we just lost to Australia which made the Australians very happy make me very happy for those of you don’t know South African Australian huge like competitors when it comes to cricket we’re very like rival nations in this regard yes another thing apparently because I haven’t been able to take this because I’m not on Instagram but this apparently a an account for LGBTQIA personals on Instagram that’s very good and good to follow well that’s quite cool so I mean that gives you a different like option for it combines like technology with all the time e classifieds it’s exactly and I think that that’s kind of cool to be like pina coladas that may be something for you and my next tip is to attend concerts even smaller concerts for bands that you know appeal to lesbians absolutely I mean that’s a good place to find the right crowd so off the top of my head you’ve got Tegan and Sara you’ve got Indigo Girls go it’s pink I know she doesn’t qualify as a lesbian but come on lesbians love pink I just got a huge news I’m Dixie Chicks or at with new music at the moment so they are a bunch and there’s also some UK based and I’m pretty sure these Australian based like bands this one is when it’s slightly harder if you’re not in the biggest senses but hey for those of you who are lucky enough to be you know go get some music in apparently there’s a place in the u.s. called cheery Grove Cherry Grove is a Hamlet’s in the Town of Brookhaven Suffolk County New York and apparently they are like a bazillion lesbians that go to this place this is like lesbian Mecca well we need to put there on our to go to list absolutely because I was just heading to Provincetown but now I see that this Cherry Grove too so we need to go there also and we’ll need to do a tour of lesbian America I think that’d be so cool I can meet everybody and then have you’d load open it would be alright never underestimate the power of a woman who reads women who read or smart and brilliant and make my heart beat just a little bit faster so go join a book club and remember Sheena is not available did I sound like I was making myself available just in case people were like the way to your particular heart is to show how much is enough to eat there’s only one way to my particular heart and that’s just to be you Oh anyway join a book club here’s a cool fact the tell our activities have actually formed a couple of relationships like people have met because we’ve been talking about books and stuff mates on line started talking and actually at least one of them that I know of has gotten married so I’m so chuffed know it’s true as a matchmaking service TLR is quite good we are global on Facebook till our chat group when we talk about books endlessly can find this like so many women on they’re amazing and in fact is a couple of guys on they two who’d like to talk about lace Vic and they’re all darlings plus it’s got a monthly book club as well attached to it so you get the book club aspect of it too absolutely if you wanted a face-to-face book club and you don’t have a lesbian specific one in you in your period try to think of starting one or join a feminist book club because that’s also likely to have lesbians in us and then you know something we shouldn’t overlook is looking at your immediate network of friends and family and if you do know someone who is a lesbian who’s gay or who you know identify somewhere on the sort of queer spectrum they may know other lesbians although they may have friends who know lesbians maybe you can host a small party or maybe you can just get them to introduce you but it’s just that’s another way of getting into contact with more lesbians or a tease women who date women absolutely here’s an important key to that is to have a big network of friends it doesn’t have to be like Sex and the City kind of friends where they’re on top of each other all the time talking about each other six lives it can just be like a network of you know good friends who talk about books I think you just described a group of friends who on top of each other [Laughter] Novikov it seriously yes you know and I think that’s been quite a common theme throughout all of these subsets we’ve given is that it’s not just about dating it’s actually getting out into the world to meeting people in general because the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone that you’re willing to date or hey even finding a friend so don’t go into it saying okay I’m gonna go to the CVM definitely gonna find someone to date or to hook up to go to the event have fun and later things happen because you don’t want to be emanating desperation or coming across too strong at first you know you be you be chill be fun be loveable be you I mean I think the last one is something that’s grown in it means popularity over the last few years and it’s probably the main go-to for dating which is online dating whether it’s through some sort of website or through an app like tinder or Bumble or match whatever it is and if you aren’t into these kinds of things because you feel like there’s some sort of stigma there really isn’t most of us love a lot of our lives online so it’s completely natural that we would be finding partners online there are a couple there cater well for lesbians tinder her and OkCupid or some of the ones that come up I found one called pink Cupid calm which is apparently lesbian focused and about being safe okay and there’s Zoey and Leslie that easily like a good pun yeah but I mean Google Google there’s been dating app there are a ton so go try them go see which one works best for you and let us know absolutely email us one podcast at the Lisbon talk-show calm and don’t forget to rate us on Apple podcasts your rating helps us reach more women loving woman helps to grow the network which helps everyone to be more accepting of Lisbon for new Lisbon’s to be totally true I’m Sheena and I’m tomorrow and you’ve been listening to let’s talk about it next episode we talked about how to make the first move what to say how to do it and what you should absolutely avoid at all costs that’s all for this week bye bye