The Importance of Self-Love & Self-Care

The Importance of Self-Love & Self-Care is the topic of this episode of Seize the Day Podcast with Natalie Miller-Snell.

I talk through some great tips including:

  • Good sleep
  • Food / diet
  • Taking breaks
  • Exercise
  • Activities which help you feel your best
  • Learning to say no
  • Putting yourself first

Listen here

Seize the Day was inspired by my favourite latin expression, Carpe Diem. I’ve had some great mentors throughout my life who have offered me invaluable guidance. I’m hoping to do the same through these podcasts.  We have so many wonders at our fingertips; sometimes we just need a little help, or someone to point us in the right direction. 

I hope you enjoy the show!

Quote from the Show by Kristin Neff, a pioneer of self-compassion: –

“Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d show to a good friend. When faced with difficult life struggles, or confronting personal mistakes, failures, and inadequacies, self-compassion responds with kindness rather than harsh self-judgment, recognizing that imperfection is part of the shared human experience.”

(Neff & Dahm, 2015)

Articles I used to research the show:



please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect

you are listening to seize the day with Natalie Miller-Snell during these podcasts we’ll be exploring all of the different opportunities that we get to seize the day on a daily basis and what tools and what changes we can make in order to grab those goals are you ready to make change hello hello hello podcast lovers how are you all it’s Thursday I am Natalie and you are listening to seize the day now I hope you’re well it feels like forever since I’ve done this or hope all’s well in your world I think crikey the last few shows have been interviews and my most recent show was a compilation which was delicious but I haven’t actually done this and spoken for what feels like forever so you’ve got me all to yourself today now what can I tell you what’s happened over the last few months I’m still not eating meat which is great I had a wonderful conversation with my eldest Jamie yesterday he asked me if I was still a vegetarian to which I replied yes I am but mama you eat sausages and they’re from pigs I’m like no darling they’re vegetarian sausages Oh bless him he actually thought that pigs were vegetarian and who still pigs that were in the sausages melted my heart it’s so gorgeous what else to tell you I’m off to on a rugby tour this weekend and I say my I’m off on a rugby Taurus actually it’s my son’s club his rugby club that are going on tour to Somerset so we’re taking a coach there on on Friday after school when the children are finished for the bank holiday weekend should be interesting lots of lots of dads me and lots of lots of kids so it’s going to be quite raucous I imagine there’ll be a few beverages consumed and lots of good fun I am told so I’ll fill you in once I get to the other side of that and I’ve had lots going on the past few weeks which is why I’ve not been on lime much recently I in case what a few of you ever notice and beginning contact which is lovely I won’t go into the detail but suffice to say it’s been quite full-on and it’s actually had an impact on my health and general levels of positivity shock horror you cry Natalie losing positivity surely the world is about to end the apocalypse it’s imminent yeah I mean jokes aside the the recent events have actually helped me choose the topic for today’s show which I have entitled self love and self care now what is self care I’ve been doing a bit of googling self care is actions individuals take for themselves on behalf of or maybe with others in order to develop protect maintain and improve their health well-being or wellness so it’s about looking after yourself it’s about taking time it’s about reflecting it’s about building up reserves and it’s about healing it’s also about recognizing when to stop when to stop and take stock is what I was trying to say so how do we do this basic physical self-care can be broken down into into four categories or four points if you like the invaluable sleep we all know we need to do it do we actually get as much sleep as we need we need to develop a regular sleep in routine in order to help that physical self-care food is another is a second great item we need to be aiming for that healthy diet taking breaks during any tasks that we’re doing be at work or a home lunch breaks if you’re at work or breaks generally get some fresh air invaluable and finally exercise before or after work or during the day if you’re luckily lucky enough to be able to regularly and if you have pets or children go out for walks with them take them for a walk to unwind it’s it’s really good great physical self-care now I say all this stuff because I can at this moment in time hand on heart state that when you don’t do it and if you’re going through something that’s tricky or a trauma or something that’s affecting emotionally if you don’t pay attention to self-care you’ll get sick now I’ve been pretty slack with my food and exercise and generally getting out and I haven’t been able to sleep particularly well so I’m super rundown as a result I mean I’m really not being able to get myself well or on a good level a level playing field if you like so I am living proof of why it’s so important to have that level of physical self-care and why all those points are so helpful and I’ll let you know last night I had the best sleep I’ve had in ages and it’s really helped so some tips to help with self-care identify what activities help you feel your best now that can be a variety of things if you like yoga for example practice it do often if that helps you unwind relax do yoga if you like to meditate do that regularly as well it’s a fabulous a fabulous thing to do to unwind sit down relax find peace do it regularly give yourself that space and if you like to read do it as well reading is incredible expands your mind in it because you know some form of escapism I I adore reading and I haven’t been able to read in what feels like forever and my mind seriously misses it I’m craving it desperately and I’ve actually just started getting back into books and it makes such a difference so if you like to read read what activities make you feel your best put stuff in your calendar social events if you like going out or you’re an extrovert or you know if you like just being around people go to the cinema if you like to watch movies or just go out generally walks hike in whatever you enjoy seeing friends put it in ink get it in the diary that will make you feel good and it will help with the self-care and take care of yourself physically as I’ve mentioned with those four points before the sleep the food the breaks the exercise in and where food is concerned if you can try and get more plant-based foods into your diet that’s also great another valuable a valuable point know when to say no and say it it’s really important and you’re worth it you need to be able to say no and check in with yourself regularly have a chat yourself whatever works the internal dialogue close your eyes ask yourself how you’re feeling and what you need trust your gut and it’s in your intuition and it will tell you exactly what you need listen to it and act on it and it’s also so important to surround yourself with great positive people now I’ve mentioned before I’m an incredibly positive person and it comes to me very naturally however when I have moments of doubt and if I’m going through a tough time I need to have people around me who can pick me up and I do have a wonderful wonderful support base around me and some fabulous people who mean the world to me who’ve really been great over the past few weeks so it’s important to have those great positive people around you and spend some time outside so as long as I was a kid obviously let’s you want to freeze I know there are some folks that go camping in the snow looking at you Blakey so get yourself outside now self-care will help physical and emotional health and self-care gives you a break from stress and it can give you the all-important alone time which is really really valuable and something else to consider know your worth self-care demonstrates that it’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself as it produces positive feelings and boosts your confidence and self-esteem it is also necessary to remind yourself and others that you and your needs are important to is so valuable you’re listening to the lesbian talk show the lesbian talk show calm your hub of podcast information so that’s self-care the self-love angle and side of it is a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness and sometimes that means thinking of yourself first thinking of your own well-being first now that’s a tricky that’s a tricky one to get your head around at times and it doesn’t mean that you go take a hot bath whenever you feel like it but it really can mean putting your needs before others first putting your needs before others even at a time when the others need you or someone else might need you now that can fry your mind so a good way to look at this and how I view this is the you know the arrow pain safety videos that you watch before you take off in the video they state to put your own oh you know if there’s a whatever happening to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others because how can you help anybody if you’ve passed out so it’s really important sometimes we need to focus on ourselves first and that is okay and it’s also worth noting that some folk need support with self-love which is why it’s always important to be aware of everybody around you keep your radar up for anybody who requires help some people aren’t able to reflect on themselves as easily as others can so it’s important to keep your radar up so self-love is also a way of relating to yourself that does not involve harshly judging or punishing yourself for mistakes you make studies have shown that it helps lessen anxiety and depression increases optimism helps recovery from stress and helps maintain healthy behavior changes such as if you’re changing your diet or exercise and help him maintain that so I found this online it’s a quote and I think it’s quite lovely Kristin Neff a pioneer of self-compassion research describes self-love as follows self compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness concern and support you’d show a good friend when faced with difficult life struggles or confronting personal mistakes failures and inadequacies self compassion responds with kindness rather than harsh self judgment recognizing that imperfection is part of this shared human experience now that’s from Neff and Damned published in 2015 or pop this in the show notes I think that’s really lovely and he’s so so true how often do you fight you’ll probably find you treat people around you better than you treat yourself so it’s about redressing that balance and making sure that you apply this value of love consideration kindness to yourself as well so there are several facets of self-love which can be viewed as follows I’ve got them down to seven points here so mindfulness having an open curious non judgey attitude not over identifying with negative stories about yourself challenge the negative harsh thoughts with a rational mind so just being more mindful point to self kindness treating yourself kindly rather than harshly extending the same care and support to yourself that you were to a good friend or loved one as I’ve mentioned in that beautiful quite treat yourself kindly extending the same care and support as you would a loved one so important point three common humanity and forgiveness allowing yourself to be human and it’s so important to make mistakes and to learn from them knowing that as humans we are not perfect nor should we be expected to act flawlessly I mean that’s crazy we all make mistakes I make mistakes we all make mistakes it’s what you can learn from it it’s what you can take from it and move forward so you know forgiveness in that sense being kind to yourself act on what you need rather than what you want I think as a as a race and a species we Ori go often gets in the way and we crave things and we we want this we want that but actually we’re not paying attention to what we need and once you have what you need you can be satisfied so that helps with their self-love and practice good self-care all of those beautiful tips have already mentioned earlier the sleep the diet doing stuff that you enjoy focusing on what you enjoy putting things in the calendar all of those great ideas set boundaries now as a mother I set boundaries for my children all the time which is good for them because it gives them a safe zone to work and live within and helps them grow and develop we should apply the same thing to ourselves not necessarily the same boundaries but we should have the same process for ourselves because it keeps us safe and it helps with the self-love and the self-care so set boundaries and protect yourself finally protect yourself recognize when you are feeling emotional or mentally destroyed and take action remove yourself from the situation and practice self-care and make sure you got folk around you you can also help you see that if you don’t necessarily pick it up yourself so to summarize self-care is about looking after yourself and self-love is about putting yourself first I’m certainly practicing those at the moment try it give it a go and let me know how you get on we need to celebrate ourselves more for the incredible beings we are and in order to do that we need to love ourselves and take care of ourselves so thanks so much for listening everybody it’s good to be back it was like it’s been so long as always you can contact me at my email address which is Natalie mail us now at my website is seize the – day comm Instagram is seize the day underscore today Twitter is NAT Millis now and Facebook is the same not to Milla snow and in fact I’ve set up a new Caesar day page which I’ll share as well in the show notes you’ve been awesome as always take care look after yourself keep well you have been listening to seize the day with Natalie Venice now all contact information can be found in the shownotes together with any links to websites I may have referred to in the show if you’ve enjoyed this podcast then come talk to us of a lesbian talk show chat group on Facebook email us on podcast at the lesbian talk show calm or follow us on Twitter at lesbian talk show you can also join our community of patrons and geeks collusive content go to and talk show the link is in the show notes thank you thank you thank you [Music] English (auto-generated)