Room 13 Episode 5 Michelle and Tamara discuss some very personal issues, and grow inevitably closer.
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About Room 13
Rae D Magdon has created a sweet radio drama romance about a music student who finds love where she least expected it.
If you love Rae’s novels then this is an audio treat just for you.
This show is running on The Lesbian Talk Show with permission from the creator who holds all the rights.
Find Rae D Magdon Online
please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect
room their team a paranormal romance and audio drama written by Rae D Magdon written and performed by the author and featuring the voice of Aurora foil on [Music] this story features themes of mental illness self-harm and suicide although these themes are portrayed sensitively listener discretion is advised room 13 is available on the iTunes Store on Google Play Music and on blueberry so whether you’re listening on an Apple device on an Android or in your browser you have an option to hear the show [Music] Tamara Tamara are you in here Michelle I wasn’t sure you’d come back why wouldn’t I because I’m a ghost most people would be scared you can brush off one encounter maybe but two is harder and last time was intense I’m not scared of you Michelle don’t I can tell when you’re lying I mean I’m not scared you’re gonna kill me like in some horror movie then what I guess I’m just questioning things about whether this is real I can’t blame you it’s what I do you know if I was alive and médicos myself it’s a bit more complicated for me because of your mental illness you mentioned meds you overheard that huh yeah major depressive disorder with psychotic tendencies and an anxiety disorder for extra fun meds help usually me barely hear stuff at all anymore just the occasional whispers that I’m worthless that’s not true no I know you’re not one of my auditory hallucinations they wouldn’t say anything positive about me I know I’m not worthless at least logically but when someone tells you something every day you start to believe it even if those someone’s telling you aren’t real did it it’s okay you can ask whatever I’m over being embarrassed about it I was just wondering if that started my newark head no last year of high school the pressure of auditions oh my god I fucked up so many of those it’s a miracle I got in here I only took one seriously I took like eight damn you must have been confident hmm motivated I wanted to come here why conservatories great yeah but the university shit expensive shit I’m not one of the professor’s here he encouraged me sort of sort of it’s complicated story of my life hey do you maybe want to play I was hoping you’d ask I brought something a piano score for the Schubert I remembered you liked that one although I’m not sure how you recognized it the first time I played it in here it’s not piano repertoire from looking over your shoulder at the title oh I knew it anyway I did a company s work remember put the scar on the piano please hopefully I’ll be able to turn the pages [Music] [Music] Wow Wow that was really amazing Tamera that parts a beast you didn’t pick an easy one to help me get reacquainted I loved it it’s been so long since I played with anyone else aside from the other times with you of course I forgot how much it makes me feel that’s what I love about music you know when I don’t hate it I I love the connection the swell of an orchestra when everyone’s playing together they’re all focused on the same pole creating something beautiful chamber music – and duets I love duets the melding of two minds of two Tolls sorry it sounds dumb doesn’t it cheesy maybe but no not dumb it’s like for a heartbeat I’m in sync with someone else that’s comforting I guess I’m usually a loner it’s okay being heard is comforting for me too the fact that you can hear me speak hear me play is silences awful knowing you’re invisible knowing you can’t reach out to anyone no matter how loud you are I want to ask you something but you can ask whatever smartass maybe tell me if I’m out of line cuz this is personal but I was wondering why why why I killed myself yeah because I’ve had those thoughts too the truth is I’m not sure I was the depression was always there so I get where you’re coming from but things were going pretty well before I died I was getting ready for my senior recital in December and there was this girl wait a girl yeah though no I’m not it’s just that I’m a lesbian hold it really not many people guess I’m bisexual I have an eye for family but anyway this girl Maddie she was a flute player actually I know we missed each other by a year but small world mm-hmm you asked how I knew the Schubert you accompanied her we were going to be in each other’s of sidles so she was your girlfriend it wasn’t serious yet we only have one date Oh Oh she wasn’t the reason you did it right I don’t think so all I know is I was practicing in here and there’s a stretch of black I can’t see through I remember waking up dead though when I came to I was staring down at my own body there was blood under me on my wrists apparently I used my keys oh my god the pyramid for standing over me I remember one of them saying third one this year what that surprises you I didn’t think most suicidal people killed themselves in practice rooms at least it makes me seem less weird they don’t I’m not sure why I did people usually do it in the dorm rooms alone how do you know the president of the University still sends campus-wide emails every couple months doesn’t he about students dying I thought those were mostly DUI accidents um or the others are like like me you haven’t done it yet you haven’t done it and you shouldn’t I know people will miss me don’t look because of that but because life is so long humans can live almost a century sometimes more no matter what kind of shit you’re in you have time time for for things to change for the better you might have a crappy week month or year hell a crappy five years stuck in a practice room with a piano you can’t play but things change they did for me it doesn’t get better you can’t always control if or when it will but the possibility matters I’d stick around to find out but you didn’t know I didn’t so listen pain is temporary Michelle everything is temporary even music especially music but would you want to live without it no I wouldn’t they we’re listening to episode 5 of room 13 if you’re enjoying it please remember to give me a follow on Facebook Tumblr and Twitter at Reggie Madden and share the new episodes on your social media it really helps me get more listeners and the bigger the show gets the more I’m able to do so thank you so much and the next episode will be out on Tuesday you