Retail Therapy

In this episode of The Sapphic Cast the story featured is called Retail Therapy.

Alex Woods, the creator of The Sapphic Cast, has decided that her accent is too difficult to understand for English speakers so she goes on a mission to find a host and narrator for the show. Together with her sidekick duck, Snipps, she digs a tunnel to the center of the earth to find the retired host of The SubverCity Transmit, A.M. Onymous.  A.M. then narrates a story called “Retail Therapy” by Erin B. Lillis.

Sit down and enjoy!

“Retail Therapy” is featured in a book of horror stories that all take place in the same mall, ”Tavistock Galleria: Short Horror Stories From America’s Retail Wasteland,” which can be purchased on Amazon here

A.M. Onymous and the SubverCity Transmit locations and characters appear courtesy of Krockett and Greyvyn Productions.

The SubverCity Transmit podcast’s first season can be listened to in your favorite podcast player. If you’re interested in submitting stories to SubverCity Transmit’s future episodes, you can find more information here

A.M. Onymous is voiced by Erin B. Lillis

You can find more work by Erin online:

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Señori is voiced by Jose Perez

The producer of this episode is Alex Woods (and voiced by Alex Woods).

Snipps appears as himself.

The Sapphic Cast artwork is by https://www.animegravy.com/ 

Music used in this episode: 

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Transcript

please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect

hello listener I’m Alex woods your host in the woods ah luta you’re a better door yeah yeah I know I have to do this in English to appeal to the maximum amount of listeners I suppose I should explain where I’m from I am Alex woods your host and this Scandinavian forest with a bunch of unruly animals I know I know English right this is no good snips no one will ever understand me I need to find someone to talk for me I’m just going to take a break and listen to the radio [Music] [Music] I can’t help she’s not listening anyway I’m hoping the book helps me communicate a bit better with the new imports and I’m thinking you’re starting to leak some of my transmissions to the upper adversity so they know we until next time citizens I remain yours because I am snips of course this is one of those vir transmissions that we’ve been getting from the place called the supply city according to my previous calculations the signals coming from the center of the earth but she has the perfect voice Anita for this job sir op snips and bring me my shovel [Music] [Music] what’s that know what is that so is that you seen Yuri what the hell’s going on what is that creature well hello to you too know that Oh him that’s just snips my sidekick duck we get to that later are um have a rich software city I received your transmissions yeah there are better ways to get here than by digging through manually from the surface but each their own I guess I suppose I can just put in a work order to get the ceiling fixed orientation won’t be for another week though is it safe to touch the duck probably not the best idea right now look I don’t have a lot of time to explain but you need on the surface me wait did you say something about my transmissions I haven’t sent any new transmissions in years oh you know what it must have been one of our time anomalies anyway I’ve been kind of semi-retired for a while now you see there was this girl and I thought we were gonna settle down and well well it’s over now and I just lost my flair for the stories and well I’ve never been to the surface I’m not even sure my lungs can handle grease didn’t need you I need you sailor Bobby dinner first oh whoops sorry about that I’m just attaching this harness antenna sent do you plan on explaining anytime soon when we all get to the top I tell her about how I needed to be the voice on the sofa cast I know I already have a voice but apparently Americans can’t understand my accent oh no please check your own harness remember you have to watch out for the store who owe you it on the way back please you do that after I’m done with her the sub where city transmitted means to come back online [Music] hmm hello and welcome to the septic cast well that’s not obvious what is a sapphic it’s a reference to suffer who was the founder of lesbians the founder of the I’d like to shake her hand back to the script please I have to go out hunt on my dinner hunt yes it’s polar bear season going out there well what if I get cold that’s what forests Oh what about that snips we’ll be keeping an eye on you I can’t let you leave until your help to tell this story good little fellow okay so hello everyone my name is am animus I’m the voice of the well I guess I was the voice of the sub versity transmit a transmission of speculative fiction stories for the outcasts that live in my home the sub versity I’ve been summoned here now to deliver a tale on behalf of the sapphic cast and alex woods who is apparently currently hunting dinner so without further ado we present a story of self-reflection [Music] retail therapy I was standing in the dressing room again it was the second time this week and since the mall is failing I kept thinking I could get in and get out without anyone catching me in the throes of my retail therapy but apparently not three days ago it was Yolanda from Weight Watchers and she came upon me from behind in the line at the Panda I had been about to order up Asian beef combo but yo was up on me like Denise hey honey you about to use some cheat points too I mirrored her in mirth and then ordered a kid’s broccoli and beef Yolanda leaned over my shoulder and asked the clerk can I get her a cookie before turning to me and adding you don’t mind right I give them to my husband no it’s fine I lied and added to the clerk yeah can she have the cookie yeah whatever we’re closing this month so we just have them all out at the end of the counter take as many as you want oh lord save us Yolanda laughed and moved up to take my place in line it’s good that we’re in this together right i awkwardly attempted to fist bump Yolanda but just sort of knocked her lightly on the shoulder when she didn’t raise her own fist I’ll just go ahead and grab some cookies for your husband didn’t totally none for myself needless to say I doubled back to the counter after I shook Yolanda and shove two handfuls in my purse and now here I am in this dressing room at the Victoria’s Secret looking at my Spanx addled body from three angles thanks to the heavenly fluorescent bulbs that have shown me parts previously unknown to myself and to add insult to injury I can hear my ex-mother-in-law in the dressing room next to me chatting on her cell phone Gloria a Midwest Helen Mirren or Jessica Lange in her early 60s and not looking at day over 45 I’m sure her exquisite body is not a thing a daughter-in-law is supposed to notice but it was like a classical film scene whenever we’d visit and she’d open the door to her house rays of sunlight would spill through modern stained glass highlighting her statuesque frame as her hair flipped over her shoulder in slow motion I used to tell grant her son and my husband at the time that I’d totally go gay for his mom that generally resulted in two minutes of retching sounds as I laughed and Gloria rushed to get her son water thinking I was some kind of sadist my respect for Gloria however was not mutual she revealed her true colors pretty early on in our relationship she never thought I was good enough for her son so she kept pop quizzing me on shit in front of him to make me look dumb for example this one time when we were all in the market picking up Thanksgiving supplies she burst out with pop quiz what is the capital of Denmark I bet you thought I was exaggerating no they were literally pop quizzes and she graded them um Copenhagen I think I answered proud of myself easy ones first of course how about Slovenia Transylvania no Slovenia you should know the place as it’s named after you ha ha ha veni veni veni z visit Vinnie I don’t know Ljubljana mm-hmm how about Georgia oh oh I know Atlanta I said with a little skip in my step we’re doing countries I thought that was obvious we’re doing countries I thought that was obvious oh okay oh wait clock’s ticking I actually know this one it’s Tivoli see Tbilisi right she said disappointedly huh impressive why do you know that grant asked me I think it was like on an episode of the MMC the what Gloria asked wrinkling her eyebrows in an uncharacteristic wrinkling of anything on her body the Mickey Mouse Club I replied quietly aware of my own ridiculousness who okay learns from a mouse well that’s two out of three so let’s say 67% that’s hardly passing she informed us while adding a bag of flour to our shared cart that’s hardly fair given there were only three questions I argued I’m calling it a fail what are you kidding that’s a D fuckin plus I yelled in the gloria put her hands to her ears for a second and then pivoted grant sweetie yes mom you’re dating a d-plus student we’re married I laugh yelled back at her turning back to me she mouthed for now grant in a moment of chivalry jumped in mom leave her alone Gloria snarkily whispered over her shoulder as she rolled the card around the end cap just drop out oh no I’m graduating at the top of this bitch can you watch your language in public places grant scolded what are you the Popo I countered as grant rolled his eyes grant never really did like those jokes for grant is actually the Popo in this town or was I kinda talked him into bringing home some of the unclaimed confiscated police property once and he did and he got caught and he lost his job and he’s now a mall security cop but the new mall across town and Jesus Christ it was just a crock-pot well he blamed me and was too manly for couples therapy because he could handle his own problems without bringing some stranger into it and so long story short he’s now my ex grant and I’m sure Gloria loves that and now I was stuck in these Spanx and was pretty sure this is how I was gonna die trapped in these human constrictors mere inches from my arch-nemesis and then I noticed it a skin colored mole on my back I’d never seen it but then again I’ve never seen most of my body in that unholy glow before I tried to angle in closer leaning my shoulder down to the mirror closest to my right but when I did I made shadows in the wrong places so I twisted my body around and tried to look at the mole from the mirror and the front of me reflecting the one behind me that was the one reflecting the mole you get it right anyway so it was on the back of my right shoulder and I finally got the angle right but then I was too far away to see it clearly so I pulled my phone out of my purse and tried to reverse selfie it but the pictures just coming out too bright like one of the light League filters or I guess like a real light leak and then my dumb phone just crashed all together and this was like the 18th time this has done this since the new OS update Apple please keep it down I heard from glorious Stahl fuck that was my outside voice figuring it would be more awkward to not respond I attempted to disguise myself are you talking to me d-plus is that you trying to think quickly I responded I’m a triple D thank you very much which I thought would definitely disguise me since I’m a bee on a good day I suddenly heard thee Oh sex a later part of dog M style shit it’s my ringtone for Gloria I tried to answer in whisper solemnly um no I’m so sorry I’m at a funeral and I have to whisper her I can hear you rang out from Gloria’s dressing room okay yeah what hell nothing just surprised to run into you here seems a little out of your budget oh yeah well there’s a sale surprise you’d sing soloist to pay less than luxury prices well I was just leaving anyway the quality here has gone downhill go to the other mall I’m sure grant can point you to all of the high-end merchandise I heard her grab the handle with the force of her pilates toned arm and turn it but there was no aggressively loud door swing she didn’t emerge I heard her try again but nothing great I think this door is jammed it’s no wonder this mall is going under maintenance has gotten lakhs all over this place the mall is going under because of bad press people keep reporting about all this spooky shit that keeps happening here but I mean you probably saw all that in your cauldron right Gloria took a moment to digest that and then I heard her huff and go for the door again but again no budge listen I would like to do nothing more than issue one well-placed bitch-slap unto your I wish you were still a virgin cheek but I seem to be trapped at the moment just then we both heard the high-pitched and crackly voice of a third person in the dressing room slowly say ladies I’ve been trapped here for three days great you do voices now you can add that to your circus resume gloria shot at me okay listen I took one aerial silks class because I had a Groupon I am NOT that other girl’s voice so the Zelda Rubinstein sounding person ma’am sir what is it ever that you mean Gloria asks and her best sotto voce I mean I’m my own person no I mean what do you mean that you’ve been trapped here for three days Gloria responded oh well I think this dressing room is a place between realities and I think we each have to face our own demons before we can be allowed to leave the voice pause before continuing for like maybe they closed the mall and forgot about us I don’t know I ain’t crazy though well the crazy lady had been talking I’d been unrolling myself from the Spanx and was trying to pull my pants back on when I noticed that mole again or rather I noticed where it had been but that was gone I kind of stood up fast and lost my balance falling into the changing room wall the three mirrors clattered on their plastic wall hooks as I slid to the floor it sounds as though one of you has met your demon the raw voice cracked out no my pants are just assholes I informed her but now that I was on the floor I had a new perspective there definitely been a gap under the door when I came in but now when on the ground and expecting to see the pause of the stranger and the exquisite ankles of Gloria atop some designer heels under the door there was just a beige 1980s department store looking void it was like a gray in beige checkerboard plaid that went on for seemingly miles I thought voids were supposed to be void then I caught the movement of something out of the corner of my eye and I turned the other direction I leaned forward slightly and saw it in the mirror across from me which was reflecting the mirror behind me that reflected where the bowl had been let’s let’s not do this every time there were three mirrors they’re reflected things you can connect the dots it was a bump but it was moving he wasn’t just moving it was mobile it was crawling from one side of my back to the other and then it started to appear as if it were bubbling and growing I jumped up untangled myself from the pant leg and tried to turn my back to the mirror again the fuck is that I asked myself what Gloria inquired it’s a bump or several bumps or I don’t know it’s there they’re moving bumps where on my back great STD plus what did you give my son Oh get over yourself miss fine and mighty whatever this is it’s new it’s her demon the mysterious person cracked out her demon Gloria let the second word roll in her mouth like she was trying it out for the first time woman rewind your mind I just told you this okay tangina the demon we each have to face okay yours will come soon the mystery person sing-songs yeah all right has anyone else tried their doors Gloria rattled the door again and I could hear her putting all of her muscle into it but it still didn’t budge okay stranger so what do we do i–but does it seem like I know I’ve been trapped here for three days Zelda proclaimed to herself she muttered bitches don’t listen often the other dressing-room stole Gloria was talking to herself about these damn smartphones so I assumed she was trying to dial or text for help if she was having the same problem I was she was seeing no bars no Wi-Fi and all the apps were frozen when she gave up she started politely yelling and then really yelling for some help from the shop girls well what’s your demon at least I asked trying to get a grip on our situation after Gloria’s cries had resulted in no response from outside as if like our guide had suggested we weren’t quite holy in our reality I heard Zelda take a deep breath when I first arrived I was trying on a pair of yoga pants when I saw a shaggy white goat behind me in the mirror I imagined the miniscule miss Rubenstein as if in a flashback sequence hazy with a dreamlike echo as she faced the animal I’ll save me Jesus it’s white Phillip the goat braids and stomped a foot at Zelda okay baby back up back up I told the goat and the reflection but it reared and I jumped knowing I wasn’t going to get out of this without a confrontation I slowly turned around to face the thing and it wasn’t there I looked in the mirror again and the goat in its white furry glory was back but just behind me in the mirror not really here in the real world so I avoided looking in the mirror and I figured I just pay for the pants on the way out so I didn’t have to waste time changing back and that’s when I discovered I couldn’t open the door I cried out for help I tried using my phone but the screen was just white like light had leaked into it and it wouldn’t respond to anything I tried to crawl out under the stall but if you hadn’t noticed yet it’s like some sort of time warp beige and he’s nothing out there I slid my torso out but I was so bored I had to pull myself back in here so I spent the first day avoiding looking in the mirrors I tried to dislodge them and turn them around but that just made the demon goat angry and he made a god-awful racket all night middle of what I think was yesterday I cracked and turned the mirrors around again I wasn’t prepared Oh what the hell is that Gloria interjected it was a dramatic pause the disembodied voice replied no not you there’s some kind of creature in here I think your demon the voice said ominously looks more like a small rodent I heard the shuffle of Gloria’s polyester and rayon blend moved to the corner of her dressing room as she investigated shoo shoo oh where the hell did it go it’s in the mirrors Zelda advised no I think it’s in this thank you thank you thank you bag see what’d I tell you bad maintenance in this place it sounded then as if Gloria had picked up her notoriously large handbag and started swinging it at a corner of her stall shoo-shoo lady sir I’m not sure if what you’re saying is coherent but I think you’re right about the mirrors I’m seeing all these weird things on my body but they’re only in the reflections I reported to our wise consultant it was true to the rippling as I saw moving across my back had traversed to the front of my body according to the mirror but when I looked down I just saw my own cookie loving bod nothing that wasn’t normally alarming but as I turned slowly around my whole chest was a living roiling entity in the reflections now if you’ll recall I took the compression garments I was trying on off and I fell out of my pants so I was basically just standing there in my chonies staring at this canvas of flesh undulating until I began to see recognizable shapes appear okay this is not happening this is some kind of fucked up augmented reality VR who do and someone’s trying to YouTube prank me right that unprofessional where you end up psychologically scarring people for life in the name of the channel this is not how you become an influencer guys no one responded to my slapdash challenge where did that fucking thing go Gloria yelled in the middle of a barrage of swinging and crashing noises listen to our friend here Gloria look in the mirrors Gloria gave a short burst told ya the voice and I chorused meanwhile I stared aghast as the shapes in my chest rippled and coagulated into what looked like a small well manicured hand okay that was weird it’s like tiny Exorcist in here I said more to myself than to my two companions I could hear Gloria rhythmically yelping now ouch shoo Oh get off ah ouch echoed from her corner of the room along with the sounds of glass banging lipsticks and granola bars tumbling out of her handbag and hangers of discarded lingerie rattling around the coursing waves of my chest turn twisted into now – tiny manicured hands that seem to appear and disappear in time with glorious screams it dawned on me that they were like a jerky flesh animation of two arms swatting at something let’s yell our poison yelled the voice at Gloria is it spiders mosquitoes I added it’s damn you ow one little her words suddenly came out choked as if she was deep throating one of the foodcourt corndogs she gagged and spit out Sparrow like a bird yes nelly furtado a goddamn bird more vigorous swatting and swinging could be heard it keeps poking at me my chest flesh waved and stretched until it looked as though I was a funhouse mirror blob made of pale and freckly liquid mercury the shape of a foot emerge from my neck the toes spreading and crackling just under my chin as if I were a pair of fresh pantyhose and then it slid around the back of my neck it was followed shortly thereafter by another then the gelatinous version of me formed full-sized legs extending from my shoulder blades like leg wings I was both horrified and impressed by the detail in the reflections Gloria screamed viciously again that little shit Whistler just took my eye why is no one helping us she cried some more I could hear her rocking and moaning look your demon in the eyes and understand each other the voice uttered this POS just stole my eye it is clearly not interested in a staring cup we heard another sudden choke and a liquid splutter oh it’s cut my jugular Gloria eked out you understand what that means d+ burn i understand you should probably be quieter then I looked at my hideous new form in the mirrors a new set of pert designer boobs had emerged just over my existing broken underwire bra clad ones making my chest look like two semicolons next to each other to excess shapes nestled in the pillows of my eyebags making me look even more like a sad clown the tiny adult arms took turns emerging from my belly to gesticulate whenever Gloria moved and those leg wing things stretched and flexed showing off just how limber they were I realized I’d recognize those calves anywhere those were glorious chiseled calves what really confused me though was that my body had completely reformed into this monstrous new shape I should have felt the skin ripping from the tendons and tissue as everything changed and grew this should have been an excruciating transformation but I didn’t feel anything I don’t get it I said aloud not surprised Gloria said in a faint whisper shut up no I’m seeing all sorts of crazy shit over here and it should be painful but I don’t feel it meanwhile Gloria is all my eye my eye and doing some kind of reenactment of the birds in her stall so why is my demon just visually torturing me you really want to push it the wise voice wisely asked what happened to you do you feel stuff I asked Zelda I heard the voice clear some of her rasp before she began what I stood at the center of where the reflections of the three mirrors met I held the gaze of the goat demon and his shaggy hair began to grow and grow it came out and off of him like waves of water if it were made of hair and began to fill the changing room I risked a peek around to see if the real stall was filling with the hair but the goat hoarsely screamed and I snapped my head back and watched I tried to close my eyes and shut the vision out but the goat would scream and then I would scream I tried to cover my ears so I wouldn’t have to hear the slippery sounds of the goat hair and twining and matting but the goat would scream I tried to focus my attention to other parts of my body to psychologically bind myself and still the goat knew and screamed louder so I was forced to watch consciously as I saw myself and began to believe myself surrounded encircled and ensnared by the goat fur from the silence but drooling beasts that stood behind me and stared I began to panic and hyperventilate as I thought the Snowy soft hair of the goat might very well drown me but the goat saw my rising terror and paused I thought he’d stopped I thought this was the end of it but then it seemed the goat smiled as a tentacle of his hair stood before me and then gently pushed on my chest until I fell back into a cloud like bed of his hair it then grew over my eyes and I sort of fell asleep you fell asleep Gloria and I Yelp together I mean it’s comfy so you’ve been like that for three days how have you gone to the bath no never mind I spit out before realising I didn’t want to know the answer Gloria started screaming and spluttering just then again but I realized that in all of her struggles I never actually heard a bird if there were a real one surely we would have heard wings whistles or something but there was just Gloria’s array of gurgles and gasps once you faced your demon and accept him you too can rest in his arms the goat had arms too it’s a figure of speech hair wings whatever so you can feel the goat fur again it’s more like hair but yes I’m laying in it right now and Gloria can obviously feel the bird attacking her so why can’t I feel anything do you think maybe it’s because I don’t want to believe it I heard the door on the lock turned slightly I was on to something I tried the knob but it wouldn’t open so I try thinking out loud again I don’t want to believe that then something clicked in my head maybe it was because I’d switched over into Gloria’s pop quiz adrenaline Terror mode or maybe I’m just okay I’m like really good at making puns as a form of torture and the wordplay just hit me I think I get it mine I mean I announced yo our demon the voice queried no I don’t think it’s a demon I think it’s a metaphor what Gloria and the voice chimed so high I didn’t tell you my thing yet basically those moving bumps I told you about before they kind of formed hands and feet and stuff and I recognize the parts they’re glorious parts who is Gloria the bitch kidding apparently eaten by a bird my parts Gloria whimpered yeah and every time you did something annoying over there it got worse and grew more Gloria do you get it sorry not following the voice said Gloria is getting under my skin my skin began to Ripple again the leg wings sucked back into my shoulders the hands melted in my neckline the breasts sadly also disappeared but they were replaced by a face over my breast bone glorious it mouthed in a mock version of her voice I thought you were tougher than that you always seemed so strong I mustered up some confidence and announced to skinned Gloria and real Gloria and the world yes Gloria I didn’t want to believe it but your words hurt and stung and dug into me like thorns I was on a little bit of a weepy roll then I let your poison seep into me I tried to put up a wall but you poked and prodded and yes I let you get under my skin are you happy now the skin version of Gloria smiled I think and then dissolved back into my flesh and the latch on the door to the dressing room turned and the door fell open I wiped away tears and shouted that’s it guys it’s it’s like a Green you have to interpret it you have to self help yourself I can’t I’m dying Gloria managed to breathe out as if she bled completely dry already I think I get it so a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush Sparrow rhymes with arrow kill two birds with one stone The Voice prattled is there more than one bird I ask Lauria it’s eating me she answered Oh Oh something’s eating at you is something eating at you I yelled excitedly Gloria’s breathing steadied we could hear that even as i possibly cold-heartedly put my clothes back on while she was supposedly dying she began to clear her throat I quietly zipped my jeans that seems to be it the wound stopped bleeding the sparrow landed and is now just looking at me okay more to view then do you know what it is that’s eating at you yes I think you have to say it out loud or to the mirror or something like the other girl did Silda wisely concluded yes okay um d-plus I mean Denise I miss you I’m sorry what I miss you okay you were the only one of grants girlfriends we were married girlfriends who became a wife that gave my sass back to me I respected you I enjoyed your company and I’m sorry and I regret that it may have been my vitriol that poisoned your relationship with my son her door unlocked and swung open she sat defeated on the dressing room stool that faced the three magical mirrors her head rose from her chest and we met each other’s eyes and had a moment I ran in and hugged her and I admit there were a few tears I may have also caressed her strong back a little but that’s a different type of story ahem little help here Zelda interrupted white go with long hair or the variety that make the wool for cashmere you said you’re just laying on a bed of this hair and it’s just grown over your eyes right Gloria took the lead yeah and so Gloria circled her hand as if she tried to coax the understanding out of the air cashmere the wool Gloria corrected the wool the wool is over my eyes there was a loud clatter something my guess is that the bed of hair must have disappeared and our advisor must have fallen to the floor we heard her yell from the ground okay how was I supposed to know cashmere comes from coast that is not everyday knowledge okay well do you think the wool is over your eyes somehow well I don’t think this going out of business sale is as big of a discount as they say it is her dressing-room door unlatched and the door swung open revealing Yolanda oh come on I’ve been here for three days for that Yolanda Denise oh thank God you gave me your fortune cookies the other day I was rationing them I grabbed the items I was going to purchase on the arm of Gloria and we exited the store past the knowing eyes of the angels that modeled the underwear we’d come to try on in the first place aren’t you glad this brain of mine was on the case I tapped my forehead and lifted an eyebrow Gloria you got two out of three 67% d-plus what is it with you the end [Music] wash up it’s time for dinner all right and then we’ll go back down the tunnel no I think you should stick around for a while I have more stories to share okay well I was on a sabbatical anyway so why not hang out a little longer I guess thanks for listening to this epic cast I’ll take it from here thank you for listening to the sapphic cast on the lesbian talk show channel we would love your feedback on the lesbian talk show Facebook group and a rating in your podcast app hey and while you’re at it tell your friends about us all links to creators and stories can be found in the show notes and if you like what we’re doing please consider becoming a patreon patron of the lesbian talk show it helps us keep the channel alive and provides you entertainment every day of the week and now the credits retail therapy was written by Aaron B Lewis and is one of a number of short horror stories that all take place in the same mall the anthology Tavistock Galleria short stories from America’s retail wasteland can be purchased on Amazon a mana mmus is the host of the sub versity transmitted podcast a speculative fiction anthology series for the queer sub-recipients MIT is currently seeking submissions for a new season of stories please visit subversive etransmit comm to learn more the subber City transmit productions characters appear courtesy of Crocket engraven productions the voice of a monomyth is Aaron B Lewis the voice of Alex woods was played by alex woods the voice of sniffs the sidekick duck was played by sniffs the sidekick duck the voice of senior E is Jose Perez the producer of the sapphic cast is alex woods the writer of this episode is Erin Valois the sapphic cast artwork is by Caroline Abernathy thanks for listening and please have a wonderful day [Music]