Finding Acceptance and Why Kindness Helps

Finding Acceptance and Why Kindness Helps on Seize the Day Podcast with Natalie Miller-Snell.

In todays show I discuss how to find acceptance in our lives. I firmly believe acceptance and kindness are interlinked. Kindness really is key.

Being kind gives us the opportunity to understand ourselves and each other more, which helps create better acceptance for everyone.

Listen to this podcast

In this episode:

Say You’ll Love Me Again by Kiki Archer

Synopsis

Do you know how to keep a secret? 23-year-old piano teacher, Sophie does and it’s kept her hidden for the past five years, but now she’s gone and broken her golden rule: Never let anyone ‘see’ you.

Jazz, a wild and carefree comedian, does more than ‘see’ Sophie but that’s because your soulmate’s the stranger you recognise, right?

With the woman she used to be threatening to surface, will Sophie succumb to the pull of passion and risk everything for Jazz, or will she hide from happiness to avoid further intertwining their lives, which might ultimately cause the unravelling of everything?

Say You’ll Love Me Again is an exciting, flirty book by the best-selling, award-winning author, Kiki Archer, filled with laugh-out-loud moments and intrigue that will keep you guessing until the very end.

Get this book on Amazon US, Canada and Germany

Get this book on Amazon UK

WEBSITE REFERENCED: 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Acceptance

Transcript

please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect

[Music] you are listening to seize the day with Natalie minutes now during these podcasts we’ll be exploring all of the different opportunities that we get to seize the day on a daily basis and what tools and what changes we can make in order to grab those goals are you ready to make change hello hello hello podcast lovers how are you all it’s Thursday I’m Natalie and you are listening to seize the day how are you what’s been going on I hope you were well summer is truly here and in force now the temperatures have increased in the UK which is delicious we had the longest day of the year the other week summer solstice and beautifully the temperatures increased from that moment which is great so long may it continue in fact we had I think it was the hottest day on Saturday and I had the good fortune to go and see pink in concert oh my god I I love her she’s brilliant it was absolutely spectacular I mean I’m super fortunate enough of been to see her a few times in concert and she really is just the most amazing performer I mean she flies through the air singing it was just magic I had such a wonderful time so yeah if you’ve never been and you do get the opportunity I would highly recommend going what else can I tell you Wimbledon started oh love a bit of tennis so typically I’m having that on in the background now while I’m working which is great I read Kiki archers latest and last book say you’ll love me again what a journey what a you know ten bucks down what an incredible ride so a good luck with everything you do Kiki gorgeous book and I wish you every success with what you get up to moving forward I’ve had a successful few weeks I’ve been blogging trying to get them out regularly I’m aiming for a Friday but it’s not quite working at the moment but I am adding special treats in by way of images and videos so if you’re keen to see all that and what I’ve been up to you you can sign up and subscribe to my blog on my website which is sees the – stay calm and keep up to date with everything that I’m up to while I’m off which I’m loving by the way I know I’ve said this before it’s amazing not working so good and I’m off to GCLs next week can’t wait can’t wait still exercising – and love in that Sam my personal trainer is absolutely amazing I don’t know how many of you remember but I posted a an image of a rather athletic woman earlier on this year in fact the beginning of the year and my goal is to get somewhere near what she looks like physically in terms of her athleticism and Wow just very hot body so we’re working on it still and I believe I’m making the the right movement shall we say and can you believe it’s my anniversary show on the next show the next Cesar day show that comes out in two weeks after this the 25th of July is my anniversary show I actually can’t believe it I mean I genuinely cannot believe it where has that time gone so I thought to myself how does one celebrate the anniversary of your show and just get your favorite author on I mean you know why not solely winter joins me on the on my University show it’s really fabulous she’s such an incredible woman and it’s got some really marvelous and Wow quite jaw-dropping stories actually in terms of her career and coming through the journalism which she was kind enough to talk to me about and then onto the books we love so that’s a great show definitely listen out for that and now I’ve mentioned to you often I’m not working at the moment and I caught up with some of my old work colleagues last week oh my goodness it was absolutely magic and I was just treated so kindly and with so much love by them it just blew me away and in fact having been to Pink’s concert as well on the weekend I’ve just been touched him in thinking quite a lot about kindness this week and it got me thinking about today’s topic what the show topic should be now since I’ve already aired a podcast on kindness and whilst I believe this show is firmly linked to kindness I will talk about kind – the topic is how to find acceptance and how kindness can help and this show is dedicated to Celina hope as she came up with the concept and the subject of acceptance so this shows for you Celina I hope you enjoy it now oh my goodness what a miserable world and what a miserable place the world can be at times when you look on Twitter sometimes wow-wow-wow there is a whole lot of nonsense and trolling and negativity or it just screams off the page so it’s no wonder we find it difficult how can we possibly find acceptance love and kindness folk just bitch and moan a lot and also there’s a whole different topic on fear as well watch people why people seem to bitch and moan and promote nonsense but it’s how do we find acceptance now for me as I’ve mentioned already acceptance and kindness are interlinked and I had a conversation with a friend the other day and we were talking about we were talking about this and it’s such a interesting topic and you know saying I believe kindness is really the core it’s really core and its really fundamental and the key to all acceptance and we struggled to find this because sometimes we don’t really know who we are you know that age-old question and goes back to philosophy as David was saying to me and when we had our chat the other day you know Who am I what defines me and it’s that kind of lack of understanding on occasion and maybe lack of internal love that we have for ourselves and a desperate need to fundamentally have those questions answered that we can’t really accept who we are and we don’t feel that we conform I mean goodness were all so different aren’t we and that’s half the battle in the world everyone struggles with fear when they don’t understand things or people and so acceptance is quite difficult when you don’t know where you belong where you fit in which is why we tend to form and have or feel the need to have groups you know so we can identify with other folk and we can feel comfortable confident and within a secure environment that level of acceptance who else is like me will I find somebody else like me and it’s why we constantly look out for that and crave it it’s also how and why the I’m going to use this word although it’s a bit dramatic why there’s enemies as well because folk don’t understand and when you tend to group together people get nervous and well they the opportunity going back to what I mentioned with Twitter people would like to bitch and moan because we don’t extend our hearts and we don’t offer ourselves kindness and then we don’t offer others kindness and we educate ourselves through fear because we don’t learn how to accept but there is human goodness and kindness within us and within everybody which we can tap into and it’s you know let’s face it it’s tricky to accept ourselves it’s interesting I really didn’t like myself as a youngster I struggled so much with being gay and I used that term because that’s what I knew and that’s how that’s the reference I had back then and we’re talking you know thirty years ago when I discovered who I was and what it felt like inside and and and I struggled with it a great deal and it was looking for role models and it was looking for other folk around me that helped me come out and again this is a great topic too since we’re in Pride Month having the likes of Anna Friel and you need different role models out there too I can look up to you and realize that I wasn’t alone and going back to this you know groupings because we don’t know where we fit in because we don’t this kindness is not necessarily out there in the world and therefore acceptance isn’t readily available and how do then you accept yourself so it took me a while to realize do you know what I I’m alright actually and I can be quite amazing I’m a good person and you know what it’s okay to say that because it’s really positive and it’s really important to have those self affirmations I mean at the end of the day you know it’s good and it’s important to realize that you’re a great person so it took me a while but I’ve come to accept things about me that I can’t change and there are things that I would continually actively work on I mean at the end of the day I want to be the best possible version of me that I can be but the rest really is what it is I am Who I am and I’ve learnt to accept that and as a result that helps me accept a lot more around me and be much more patient because I understand my own flaws and I understand how I’m not perfect I mean far from it at times so it’s important to recognize that in order to then be able to accept around so that’s so I was I was thinking about this and this is quite a good example and I won’t go into the details of this example I was going to I’m going to use but it’s about my sister around goodness 15 maybe 15 years ago maybe as much as 20 years ago know between 15 and 20 years ago something happened with my sister which my brother-in-law had to get to have very quickly and he was in his car he was driving now I smile when I tell this story because it’s an interesting concept about perception and therefore acceptance as well and offering kindness in his need to get to my sister he drive like an absolute lunatic down the road he was telling us about it afterwards down the central reservation overtaken you know cutting people up on whatever else because it was important he had to get to her quickly and now if I was sat in my car and observing him driving as an outsider I’d have thought to myself what at all I might you know if he was cutting in front of me I might not have wanted to let him in since I was thinking he was pushing in but now knowing why he was doing that there’s an acceptance that you can just offer straight away that there’s a reason behind it and it’s the automatic and I believe it’s a human nature that we tend to automatically see the negative because we’re not happy with something that’s taking place or we don’t see it’s necessarily correct or fair we jump to conclusions now it’s something I use this example all the time when I’m out driving if I do see somebody driving like an absolute prat and there are some people that just drive like perhaps so you know there’s not a lot we can do about it and I’ve come to accept that too but I also extend my mind and a level of kindness to think maybe they need to be somewhere maybe there’s an important thing that’s happening and maybe there’s an urgency so it changes how you feel and how you can accept things around you and the same can apply to family where family is concerned and I think what I’ve come to realize and I think all of us come to realize and I’ve got an amazing family not everything they say or do or who they vote for you might agree with you know but it’s okay and being able to have a good conversation with people helps you come to understand where their viewpoint comes from and therefore you’re able to have a level of acceptance that it is what it is and we’re all different we’re all unique we’re all amazing and that’s what makes the world go round and that’s what gives us dialogue and that’s what gives us opportunity to learn and grow and see things differently you’re listening to the lesbian talk show the lesbian talk show calm your hub of podcast information so at the end of the day and what I said before when it in my other kindness podcast no act of kindness is too small no act of kindness is too small a smile kind words offering a seat letting somebody into a cue like the car incident giving somebody your pay and display ticket even though you might have several hours left because you had to pay over the odds because you didn’t have change so that really annoys you but actually you’re able to give it to somebody who’s about to buy some you know buy one so you’re saving them cash it’s an act of kindness it’s a really good thing we can change the bitch and a moun into a kindness angle and view it in a positive way the options are truly endless and common sense tells us that you know more acts of kindness will really help and improve dialogue so we are able to have those open conversations and therefore learn to accept each other more when we offer kindness be internally to ourselves or externally it helps us learn to accept now here’s a great article that I read online and I’m going to quote the article because it is I think it’s absolutely beautiful it’s really really really worth the read now it’s written by a lady called Megan Bruna Bruno I hope I’m pronouncing that right she’s a psychotherapist an executive coach and the article was entitled five things everyone should know about acceptance and like I say it’s a really fabulous read but this this paragraph or this sentence you know what yes paragraph this jumped out to me here’s the thing about acceptance in many cases we have a choice we can either accept or reject and much of the time rejecting doesn’t change our reality it just causes pain now I think that’s so true and it goes back to all of the examples and the the comments that I’ve already raised we can accept or we can choose not to when we accept whilst we might not necessarily agree with a situation or someone’s thoughts or how this is progressing it just gives you a level of peace and therefore you’re able to be kind and the world looks different but if you don’t and you reject it your war is up so you instantly aren’t in a good place and as she says here you causes you pain now she goes on in the article to talk about many things from family aspects to all sorts of greatness about where acceptance and how what we should know about acceptance you know does not mean like in wanting choosing or supporting really fabulous as I’ve said already acceptance is an active process and it must be practiced now that’s a really interesting point in a really valid point just because you’ve made the decision to accept something yourself or something that’s happening in a given moment doesn’t mean you don’t need to continue to practice that because tomorrow your mind might feel totally different so it’s about continuing to practice that well so she got on here acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t work on changing things fabulous definitely as I said earlier about myself I’ve learned to accept a lot about myself but there’s still things I want to change and I do want to be the you know the the best possible version of me I can be this this article really is lovely and I highly recommend a read like I said put it in the show notes so you can all have a good read I think the key is trust your instincts as well and I talk about this so much you know and it’s having that level of confidence or just making that breakthrough – you know what yeah I can accept this you know deep down inside and sometimes we just don’t have the confidence to do that and if it means reading an article that will resonate with you if it means listening to a podcast that maybe will help you break through if it means having a conversation with somebody about it it’s good to talk it’s good to read about this it’s good to know you’re not alone and it’s good to trust your instincts because you know what’s best relationships really do improve with kindness and acceptance will follow as a result so in summary when we are kind we are able to see things positively we have hope and we feel lighter and when we see the positive we are able to accept things for what they are and when we accept things we are able to be kind and so repeats that beautiful cycle it goes around when we’re kind we see things positively when we’re positive we’re able to accept things when we accept things were able to be kind it’s just delicious and yeah open in our minds and just being more receptive to things we might not be able to change it but you can also still try to change other things someone might be very rigid in how they believe and what they think but you can still have dialogue or choose to maybe walk away from that situation accept it for what it is and not broach the topic again the fact of the matter is you are an amazing person you are incredible and we need to accept ourselves for being absolutely brilliant for being the magic people that we are that’s the most important thing so I hope you’ve enjoyed this and I welcome your views actually if you’ve got any thoughts on this or if you’ve had any struggles or if you’re still struggling I mean look I’m no doctor I’m no psychotherapist this is just my thoughts my experiences and you know googling stuff online as well how I learn and how I’m educating myself as well by doing these podcasts so if you want open the dialogue with me with any of your thoughts or I’m not sure about that Natalie or you know actually I agree I’m totally open and ready to listen it’ll be wonderful contact details as always Natalie Miller Snell at gmail.com website where you can sign up to the blogs are is sees the – stay calm Instagram and Twitter is not Melissa Nell and Facebook I do have a Caesar day page on Facebook I think it’s something like seize the day today but today’s got a zero in it as a post so I know anyway you can find it through my personal website anyway yeah thanks for listening everybody you’re amazing and if you’re going to GCLs next week which this airs I think when I’m over there I cannot wait to see you come and say hello yeah I’m looking forward to meeting everybody take care look after yourself keep well you have been listening to seize the day live Natalie Venice now all contact information can be found in the show notes together with any links to websites I may have referred to in the show if you’ve enjoyed this podcast then come talk to us at a lesbian talk show chat group on Facebook email us on podcast at the lesbian talk show calm or follow us on Twitter at lesbian talk show you can also join our community of patrons and geeks collusive content go to patreon.com/scishow and talk show the link is in the show notes thank you thank you thank you [Music]