How to Create Positive Change through Flexibility

The world is never going to fit our ideals. We will always live in a state of frustration if we expect life to go a certain way. The beauty of life is that it does challenge us and make us acutely aware that we are not one person living on an island with a magic button to turn things on and off as we wish. We are living in a complex system amongst others with differing, often competing goals, and if we wish to live in harmony with these differences, then we have to learn how to be more flexible.

Join me for this episode as we explore ways to become more flexible in life.

Listen to this episode here.

Transcript for Today’s Show

Please note this transcript has not been edited and is automatically generated meaning certain words will be incorrect.

hey thanks for joining me today for this episode of curves welcome a podcast about facing and embracing the curves of life if this is your first time tuning in this is Suzie Carr the world is never going to fit our ideals we will always live in a state of frustration if we expect life to go a certain way the beauty of life is that it does challenge us to make us acutely aware that we are not one person living on an island with a magic button to turn things on and off as we wish we are living in a complex system amongst others with differing often competing goals and if we wish to live in harmony with these differences then we have to learn how to be more flexible one ‘true and sure thing about life is that it’s always changing if you’re not open to change you’ll risk breaking you’ll constantly be forcing things that can’t be forced and frustrated over things that can’t be fixed with a rigid touch the truth is living without flexibility in the way we act and see the world leaves us at a severe disadvantage I used to be the kind of person who would wake up and want to tackle the world I hate it to say no and to take no as an answer for anything but as I continued to live under these ridiculous constraints I learned that trying to control the world to fit my ideal was exhausting and ineffective I spent more time shaking my head and trying to fix things then accepting the world with all its imperfections so I could learn to flow with it I learned this lesson the hard way by pushing myself to extreme limits to force things into being and then ending up an exhausted mess at the end of those efforts how is that serving the world that was my exact question as I lay sick in my bed and that one question has thankfully set a new course for my life a healthier and more balanced one there is not just one way to accomplish something we all have our methods of getting from point A to point B what works for us may not work for others and vice-versa just as one pair of jeans will fit me one way and you another it doesn’t make the L fitted pair worthless to someone they fit just fine real power in life stems from a place of flexibility not rigidity this is always the case think back on those times when you did force something I’ve been there when I’ve tried to squeeze into a pair of old jeans and no matter how much I stretched and whined and sucked in my gut a pair of jeans two sizes too small or simply not going to fit me when I finally surrendered to that fact and bought a new pair of jeans I could then go out into the world without causing internal injuries and being able to take a full breath without popping at the seams imagine that freedom and flexibility created flow and movement seems like a much better place to start a journey then bound up in tight jeans the same can be said about life in general I used to study martial arts about a decade and a half ago it was a form of Kempo and Jiu Jitsu called kensho vu Kempo one of the main principles my Shihan taught me was the law of flexibility you see in the world of martial arts you never exert force against an opponent rather you use the opponent’s force as leverage to gain the flexible hand in the situation rather than facing them head-on you react to your opponent to help steer the situation in a favorable harmless direction this same principle can be used outside the dojo in real life the ultimate goal of a well-respected martial artist is to bring harmony to the moment in life we’re going to have a lot of things happening to us we’ll have great things and not so great things with potential to shatter us if we’re not careful remaining flexible and thought and action will help keep the scales balanced one area of my life that I forced out her balance was in the area of goal setting my goal list every year extended beyond the borders of my oversized dry erase board when I had to begin writing more of a goal list onto a second dry erase board I realized I was out of control there was so many things I wanted to happen and in a certain time frame and when they didn’t that bite of defeat nearly crushed me goals are good but trying to constantly force your will is not only exhausting but excruciating ly futile so I cut my list to less than ten manageable items and I’m happy to report they all fit on one small dry erase board does this smaller dry erase board make me a failure an on ambitious person lazy no I think it makes me smarter realistic balanced in a hell of a lot more flexible through my challenges with flexibility I’ve learned a lot my approach to life is very different than it was just two years ago and way different than it was ten years past I’ve had discoveries that I’d like to share here with you the first thing is to be open to new ways of doing things I’ve been guilty of thinking my way was the only way to accomplish something I tended to put on tunnel vision glasses when digging into a project only to realize I’d blocked out key points that would have helped me get things done in a manner that was more effective that’s stubborn side of my personality cost me and a few things in life pride has no place on the path to harmony when we fail to see other options we dig a hole and we fall into it that’s not exactly going to get us very far because now we have to spend extra time and energy pulling ourselves out of it the second thing is to adapt to the outside world even if you’re really good at something it doesn’t bode well if you can’t adapt to the world around you it’s like landing in a kitchen full of spices to cook a holiday dinner except you’re too close-minded to use anything but salt and pepper until you start experimenting with spices outside of your comfort zone you’re going to continue cooking up the same boring dish the third thing is to step outside your bubble to gain new insights you have to get out from under the blinders and set your eyes on new potential be willing to shed tired old ideas for new ones by taking time to reflect when you’re wrapped up in something important it can be really hard to be objective and evaluate the worth of an activity you’re constantly doing in fact when we get stuck in something we often will come up with a million reasons to keep doing it out of the sheer stubbornness to not quit on it sometimes quitting on it is the best option but how will you know unless you time to seriously consider things allow yourself some space between your project relationships challenges and let things marinate watch what evolves as you sit quietly and reflect on the matter sometimes the difference between success and failure is that stillness that sits between the two extremes by stepping outside your bubble you reduce the chance of rigidity seeping in and throwing you off the path that could lead to something incredible finally in order to get a healthy perspective on anything in life you have to shift your focus this gives us an opportunity to examine our approach to life and see what works and what doesn’t instead of resisting the dynamic nature of life embrace it be the tree branch that bends in the winds instead of brakes work with what you have and allow new things to come into play and when something is no longer working be flexible enough to drop it so you can open up to new possibilities take a moment right now to consider a point of force in your life place it down in front of you and back away to let it unfold only then will it reveal whether it’s worth bringing along on your journey hey friends thanks for spending time with me today I hope you enjoyed today’s topic if there is something you’d enjoy exploring in a future podcast please reach out to me via my website at curves welcome calm and I’ll work it in while you’re there grab a free story – it’s my way of thanking you for your support of my podcast and romance novels I also want to take a moment to thank all who have become patrons on my page Paige your support means a great deal to me for more information on joining me on this journey in gaining access to special rewards visit the link in the show notes also be sure to follow TLT podcasts to keep up on the latest episodes so thanks for tuning in until next time go out there and continue to learn grow and embrace life’s curves